In the aftermath of an affair, there are so many thoughts and feelings that process through your mind over an over again. Infidelity is perhaps one of the most common reasons that couples separate or divorce.
Often, many couples are not willing or even equipped to pull through the heart-wrenching process of recovering from such a hit to the relationship. But why is infidelity so hard to deal with? One would think that with such high statistics (it is said that 60% of men and 40% of women have extramarital affairs), that everyone would expect or be used to infidelity.
Yet when it happens, you are so floored that it can be hard to think of anything else, much less steel yourself to move past it. What is it about infidelity that tears everything apart?
Probably the hardest part of infidelity is getting over the deception of it all. In order to have an affair, your spouse had to go behind your back. If you ever feel that a partner is acting in a suspicious manner, there are now sites to spy on that person. You may want to look at Instagram spying services, or as the Spanish say espiar actividad en Instagram.
They had to lie and possibly even manipulate you so that the affair could happen. They broke the very vows that your marriage was supposedly built on. This is made worse in situations where the affair was long term, or occurred more than once.
The planning and sneaking around behind your back can really get to you. The deception of it all can make it feel like you have been living in a fantasy world, only to have the wool pulled back as reality hits you right in the face.
Breach of Trust
Even short affairs or a one night stand are a major breach of the trust you gave your spouse the day you said your vows. Everyone knows that a marriage is supposed to be built on a foundation of love and trust for one another, but the actions of your spouse have only served to crumble any speck of trust in the relationship.
Looking towards the future, it can be hard to believe that you could ever trust your spouse again. You might even wonder about what else he or she could have lied about. You might be thinking that if your spouse could deceive you in this way, what else could have been a lie?
All of the trust you had in your relationship, in the sacredness of your marriage contract and the facade that the two of you could live happily ever after- gone, in the wake of this one deception.
Despite the statistics, most people truly believe that something like infidelity could never happen to them. After all, who would get married and open themselves up to a loving relationship at all if they expected something like this to happen? Especially at first, the shock of what has happened can be one of the hardest parts of infidelity to get past.
You may think that only the adulterer in this situation would feel guilt, but the truth is that often both spouses feel guilt in the aftermath of infidelity. The reasons that the cheater would feel guilt are fairly obvious. He or she would feel guilt over their deception and how they have hurt their spouse, whom they likely actually love very much despite their actions.
You might be feeling guilty also. No matter how many times your friends, family, and experts everywhere tell you that you are never to blame for your spouse’s infidelity no matter what their reasons are, it is pretty natural that the spouse feels some guilt as well.
Spouses often wonder if there was anything they did or did not do to provoke the infidelity, or if they could have prevented it. This guilt is misplaced, but natural, and it can make it harder to process and deal with the incident.
At some point in the process, all of the truths and lies and sadness can catch up to you and you are left feeling hopeless. It is easy to find yourself wallowing in the realization that life cannot go on as it once was, and then find it hard to see past the pain and sadness that obscure everything else. You could possibly turn to videos on websites similar to https://www.watchmygf.xxx/ to escape these feelings.
Hopelessness can keep you from taking care of yourself, living your life, and finding the will to move on. Getting past hopelessness is one of the keys to moving on and recovering from infidelity.
In the wake of infidelity, it is very natural to start feeling very angry. Especially after all of the tears and pain and sadness, at some point anger can flare up and overshadow everything else. Some people get so angry that they resort to obsession about the details of the affair, violence, or even turn to alcohol abuse to numb their feelings.
Anger is one of the hardest emotions to process when it comes to infidelity and is one major reason why it is so hard to deal with. It can be hard to think straight when all you can see is red. Often it is easier to feel anger rather than the pain and sadness, so people tend to hit a roadblock with anger.
All of these feelings are part of a natural grieving process, and everyone has to experience them in one way or another. Many of these emotions are steps in the path to acceptance, but they take time. When something as mind blowing as infidelity happens, it completely redefines your relationship with the one person that you were supposed to be able to trust until death do you part.
Infidelity is understandably hard to deal with, and it will always take time to properly process and heal. The good news is, however, that you can and will get through this. This too shall pass, and you won’t have to do it alone. There are multiple programs, books, and therapy options to help you process your grief and deal with the aftermath of infidelity in your marriage.