Wondering why some couples stay together and others split up after cheating happens?
Here, you’ll learn why an affair doesn’t have to mean the end of your relationship…in fact, surviving infidelity together can actually make it stronger.
It all depends on how you and your partner approach the aftermath of a devastating affair. It’s not hard to see why most of us can’t see an upside to cheating when it comes to the health of a relationship.
Surprisingly, however, the way you view cheating and its consequences might be all wrong.
Look beyond the pain and there could actually be a silver lining to all the mess, the pain, and the negativity.
After an affair has taken place, and once you get past the aftermath of destruction and anger, you and your partner can genuinely become empowered by the experience. In a totally surprising turnaround of events, what seemed like the end of your relationship could in reality be the beginning of something totally awesome…
better than you ever imagined, even..
Here’s what the experts say
It’s important to realize that not all marital affairs are relationship killers. A 2011 survey on what happens to couples after infidelity reveals a shockingly high percentage of couples do piece things back together after the cheating has been exposed.
Incredibly, 78% of American marriages do indeed remain intact after an affair has occurred, according to that ground-breaking survey. Only 19% of people who were cheated on ended things immediately, and only 22% dissolved things further down the line because they just couldn’t put things back together.
A light at the end of the tunnel for you
If you’re suffering the throes of life after an affair has blasted your relationship to pieces, those statistics come as wonderful news. Whether you’re the cheater or the one cheated on, there’s always hope that maybe your relationship can be salvaged.
Though you may feel you’ve completely and totally destroyed your life, the statistics say that’s not the case. For all the couples who need help surviving infidelity, that news is something to cling to when things seem really grim.
For if there’s one thing that we all crave, it’s the comfort that we have a partner who understands us, loves us, and will always be there.
When you’ve been with someone who’s been with you through the ups and downs of life, knows your history, understands your dreams, who knows your vulnerabilities yet doesn’t exploit them, someone who feels protective about you, someone who makes you feel special…that’s very hard to give up.
Trust and communication may have disappeared once an affair shatters your life, but somewhere inside both of you, those sentiments still exist, waiting to see if you’ll resurrect them or bury them forever.
Does couples therapy work?
A common solution for cheating is couples therapy. In fact, for many couples, it’s the only solution because they simply don’t know where else to turn. It’s everyone’s solution for tough problems they don’t know how to face alone.
But the problem with couples therapy is there’s hardly any competent therapists who are dedicated to couples therapy, or marriage counseling. That’s puzzling but when you learn why, it becomes clear that therapy is not the pathway to success if surviving infidelity as a couple is your goal.
Here’s the reason why: therapists HATE couples therapy!
It’s stressful, frustrating, and very often therapists sit on the sidelines as couples hash it out, uncontrollably screaming at each other or sobbing or alternating between the two. It’s such an emotionally charged scene that progress is hard won, if it occurs at all. And since it doesn’t pay more than other lines of work in the counseling field, why do it?
Any therapist worth her salt moves on to a better type of counseling. Only the duds are left in the marriage counseling business, so the success rate of relationships surviving intact is very low among marriage counselors. The good ones are much too expensive for most of us, since they’re in such high demand. So what can couples do?
Get help surviving infidelity, but not from a therapist
There may be a silver lining to all your pain and suffering, but it’s important that you take the right steps if you’re serious about surviving infidelity as a couple. Those steps do not include seeing a couples therapist.
What you both do in the aftermath of the cheating will determine how your relationship will proceed from that point on. If you want to have a future together, it’s important that both parties are working from the same page. That means committing to a plan that’s backed by the success of other couples who went through the same thing.
The couples who have a real chance of staying together are the ones who get help surviving infidelity. They MUST look outside their relationship for support, so they can find a new paradigm for living together.
Couples therapy is anything but
But couples therapy doesn’t ask you to find a new blueprint for your relationship (or marriage).
Therapists are concerned with one thing and one thing only: your personal, INDIVIDUAL happiness.
As far as counselors are concerned, if your personal happiness depends on separating from your partner, then so be it. It’s a very short-term view that completely misses the point of therapy for most couples: they want to save their relationship. Therapy won’t help you stay in your relationship after an affair has taken place. If you really want help surviving infidelity it’s up to you and your partner.
Couples need a new blueprint for togetherness, not counseling
What’s needed is a blueprint for re-building your relationship from the ground floor. But first, there’s a lot of work you both have to do together. You’ll have to work through your emotions…anger, guilt, whatever. Then you both have to heal before anything else can move forward.
And healing takes place at all levels: individual healing and healing as a couple. Only after all that healing has taken place can you both work to rebuild your partnership.
A step-by-step guide that helps you build a new blueprint for your relationship
The only way to draw up your personal relationship plans and devise a new blueprint is with some outside help. That help comes in the form of a program called… “How to Survive an Affair: A Step-by-Step System for Saving Your Relationship after It’s Been Shattered by an Affair.”
Written by Dr. Frank Gunzburg, this program has been hailed by life coaches, couples, academics and more as life-changing. The product of 31 years of working with couples as a marriage counselor, this book distills over three decades of experience, insight, and knowledge into what helps couples survive an affair.
How to put Dr. Gunzburg’s system to work for your relationship
Dr. Gunzburg has seen countless couples overcome what they thought were unbeatable odds against saving their relationships. Not only that, but he’s seen couples actually restore their relationships to even better than before. Through the process of:
- asking for forgiveness
- being more attentive
- setting boundaries
- reading self-help books
- answering questions
…the hundreds of couples Doctor Gunzburg worked with saw amazing results from following his system.
What was the secret?
Dr. Gunzburg discovered through decades of observation and research that to rebuild after surviving infidelity together, couples most do all of those things described just above plus more. Most importantly those actions must be applied in the correct order at the correct time. “How to Survive the Affair”, offers a step-by-step guide to Dr. Gunzburg’s system for surviving an affair as a couple.
It’s the most complete, authoritative system offering help for surviving infidelity together. The company also offers a 60-day money-back guarantee so you can test it out for yourself and see how well it works for you.
The real reward will be not just a restored relationship but a stronger, more exciting, more passionate relationship than you ever had before.
Click here for your roadmap to surviving infidelity together and your best marriage ever!