No other experience can prepare you for the painful emotions you’ll endure after discovering your spouse betrayed you with someone else. It’s not uncommon to be obsessively reviewing the painful memories long after the affair is over. No one else can bear the pain for you, not even your wayward partner. Even if they are truly sorry for what they did and want to make amends, they cannot erase the pain or make it go away.
The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong (Mahatma Gandhi). Your spouse’s affair has turned your life upside down without your permission. Is forgiving infidelity in the cards for you? Or do you feel that you’ll never be able to forgive them for the betrayal? What conditions are conducive to forgiving your spouse after an affair?
One of the most frustrating issue you face after the disclosure of your husband’s affair is getting him to open up and talk about the affair with you. There are certain things that you feel you ought to know in order for you to sort things out and begin to heal, but your attempts at discussion are being stymied. Generally speaking, it’s not that he feels you don’t have the right to know the details, rather it usually is because he finds it uncomfortable to do so or he wants to pretend the affair never happened.
When you are in the process of recovering from infidelity, it helps to devise a phased and workable plan that you can put into action to survive the infidelity and heal from the pain. Aside from shredding your relationship with and trust in your spouse and your sense of peace, adultery can also be very overwhelming to deal with since you have more going on in your life than just the affair.
An affair shatters the trust and feelings of an unbreakable bond in your marriage. In order to survive the affair and restore the trust in your relationship after cheating, you and your spouse need to commit to and also make a conscious effort to do things completely different from the way it was before the infidelity happened. That involves being completely open and honest about every aspect of your individual lives. Meaning no more secrets, half-truths or outright lies.