Is your anger eating away at you?
Are you sick and tired of feeling angry all the time?
Since you found out she cheated on you, you’ve been an emotional mess. Your emotions are all over the place. Alternating between anger, guilt, disappointment, fear, frustration, jealousy, and every other emotion on the planet it seems.
But the anger, you’re having a hard time dealing with the rage you feel towards her and her lover. Sometimes you feel so angry that you’re scared of what you might do to them.
You found out that your loving wife (or so you thought) has been sleeping around with another man. She lied to you. She deceived you. You have every right to be angry. Having been betrayed myself, I can understand the anger you are feeling at this time.
While it is normal to feel anger under the circumstances, you don’t want to keep feeling this way forever. Because remaining in anger over the affair is not going to only affect your physical and emotional health, but it’ll also prevent you from healing and moving forward. Whether that includes staying in the marriage or ending it.
You have to learn how to channel all that negative emotion into something positive. You need to learn productive ways of dealing with your anger. Easier said than done, I know. But you have to put forth the effort to work on your angry feelings and get it under control.
Anger left to run rampant will fester like a sore and rob you of your inner peace. If you want to avoid further damage to your relationship, you need to keep your anger in check.
So how do you get over the anger you feel towards her for cheating on you?
Healthy ways of dealing with your anger
The thing is you don’t want to bury your anger inside, hoping that it’ll magically go away in time. Because it is not going to. It will just be simmering under the surface ready to explode at any time. While feelings of anger or extreme rage towards your wife is normal, you don’t want to act on them and do something you’ll later regret. But you do need to express your feelings nonetheless.
Here are a few tips to help you deal with the anger that is overwhelming you:
Don’t be a martyr
While it may seem manly to put up a brave front and suffer in silence, it’ll only complicate matters and prevent you from getting over the anger. Don’t wait for her to magically know what you want or need, then grow resentful that she isn’t giving you what you need.
Instead, acknowledge your anger in clear terms to your wife. But don’t lash out or punish her. It will only make matters worse. And besides any satisfaction you gain by lashing out and calling her names is only temporary and can drive her further away.
Reach out to your support group
Talk to someone. Whether it’s your best friend, a counselor, a family member or someone from a support group. Just talk to someone and let that anger out.
Men are not known to talk about their feelings, but in this case, releasing all that pent up anger and emotions swirling around in your head will not make you less of a man. Talking to someone will help you clear your head and put things in perspective.
They may give you advice but you don’t need to take all of it. If you feel they are not supporting you in a positive manner, try talking to a different person.
If you are having a hard time finding someone to talk to, someone who can really relate to what you are going through, check out the “Survive Her Affair Program.” Kevin Jackson, the creator of this program created a very special forum exclusively for men who got cheated on.
The forum is a place where you can learn form the experiences of other guys in the same boat you’re in. You can share your own experiences too and get support to deal with the pain you’re in.
Therapy for your body
You already know that exercise is good for your overall physical and psychological health. But it’s also a powerful way to deal with overwhelming stress or anger. Exercise releases happy hormones that gives you a sense of relaxation and well-being.
Exercise, whether it’s boxing, running, lifting weights or some other form, together with taking care of yourself is good therapy for you during this stressful time. It will help release all those pent up emotions brewing inside you that is contributing to your anger.
It gives you small goals you can accomplish week after week, and provides you with much needed distraction from the emotional turmoil you are going through. Exercise can help you look good and feel good about yourself too. It will also help boost your self-confidence and self-esteem that was crushed when you found out about your wife’s affair.
This too shall pass
For your own health and the health of your marriage, it’s important to work to get beyond your angry feelings. Nursing strong emotions like anger will keep you stuck in a vicious cycle and keep you from making progress in restoring the emotional connection with your spouse and rebuilding the marriage.
Getting over the anger after your wife cheated on you may feel like an impossible task, but it can be done. If you feel you cannot do it on your own, then get outside help. Get individual counseling. Read books about infidelity to give you perspective and understanding of why affairs happen.
Remember, the anger you’re feeling right now is not going to last forever. If you put in the time and effort to deal with it in a productive way, it will eventually go away. Perhaps not as soon as you would like, but in time you’ll get there.