Men are generally more likely to commit infidelity than women. So when a woman finds out her husband has cheated on her, it can be confusing and unexpected.
Discovering your husband has been unfaithful in your relationship can be hard to believe. But if you’ve found out your husband has cheated on you, there are steps you can take to work through the problem.
Your head is likely spinning with questions and you may be wondering what to think and how to react. If you’re looking for cheating advice, you have a few options on how to proceed.
What to Do When Your Husband Cheats on You
Before confronting your husband about potential infidelity, be certain you have the facts straight. You don’t want to accuse him of cheating when he hasn’t done anything wrong.
If your husband cheated on you, there are a number of routes you can take. Before deciding what to do, there are a few things you should do to get yourself into a healthy mindset that’s prepared to make an informed and mature decision.
Learn the Full Story
And get it from him. Don’t ask his friends, family members, or people who think they know. Only your husband is going to be able to provide you with everything you need to know.
Take Some Time
You have to think about how you want to proceed. Taking some time away from the relationship can be beneficial by allowing you space to think without being hindered by your husband’s explanations. He may try to apologize for or justify his actions, but you need to think about what you want for yourself.
You have an important decision to make on whether or not you want to repair your relationship. Take your time.
Keep up with Your Self Care
Eat healthy foods, work out, visit a spa with some friends, or relax with some soothing music. Go about your daily life to give yourself a feeling of normalcy in the midst of a momentarily chaotic relationship. This will make you better prepared to handle the next stages of your personal healing process.
Connect with Friends
Build a support system you can trust. Your friends can give you honest advice and encourage you to see things from different perspectives while also helping you look to the future and making you feel less alone.
Consider Your Dependents
If you and your husband have children or pets together, splitting up could become messy. If there’s resentment that can’t be resolved, pets and children can quickly turn into leverage.
If you fear this may happen to you, it’s a good idea to hire a child custody attorney.
If your husband has officially ended things with the person he cheated on you with and taken responsibility for his actions, forgiveness is an option. It may be hard to forgive and forget, but you might conclude that this offense is something you can look past.
If you decide you want him back, there are some steps you can take to heal your relationship.
Seek Couples Counseling
A professional can determine any underlying issues and help him work through them to ensure he never cheats on you again. You’re going to feel hurt and betrayed for a while, but after going through couple’s therapy and deciding on a plan to move forward, staying together is an option.
A therapist can help, but there are some things you should be able to work through by yourselves. Finding out why he started a relationship with another person can help you discover what he thought was missing from your relationship.
Does your husband have physical needs that weren’t being met? Did he feel lonely in your relationship? Was he simply tempted by the thrill of infidelity?
The first step to fixing the problem is finding out the root of the cause. You need to communicate with one another to find a solution.
Let It Go
If you’re dedicated to remaining in the relationship, you’re going to have to leave the infidelity in the past. You can’t constantly bring it up in the middle of arguments and expect the two of you to stay together long. Bringing it up in the heat of the moment is manipulation and will have him looking for a way to escape the relationship again.
You can’t constantly look for evidence of infidelity, either. He may have broken your trust in the past, but you can’t use that as an excuse to go snooping through his phone. That constitutes as breaking his trust.
Trying some of these will begin to repair the trust between you and your husband. It’s possible to heal a relationship and move forward once you’ve been cheated on.
End the Relationship
It might be difficult to completely remove a cheating husband from your life, but getting a divorce is still a viable option.
It can be hard to end things with a cheating husband who was perfect otherwise, but infidelity is sometimes hard to overlook. It can be impossible to look past a blunder like this, so it’s understandable if you think breaking off your relationship is the best course of action.
However, if things ended on bad terms, like your husband was abusive, breaking up with him is for the best.
Whatever the case, there are some things you should do to end the relationship properly.
File for Divorce
The first thing you should do is officially end it. Let there be no questions between the two of you. Directly tell him it’s over.
It’s best to break up with him in person, but it’s understandable if you don’t want to see him. At the very least, give him a phone call, but talk to him about it. Don’t just leave a message.
Keep the Interaction to a Minimum
Answer his phone calls in case he has questions about the divorce, but make it clear you wish for things to be strictly business. Refrain from contacting him about things that aren’t related to your divorce.
Unfollow Him on Social Media
It’s going to be hard, but you don’t want any reminders of your ex and you don’t need to know what he’s up to.
You don’t want to be updated on his life post-breakup because that could harm you emotionally. You need to stay focused on your recovery, not his.
Try to refrain from venting on social media, as well. Airing your dirty laundry for the world to see won’t solve anything and will likely only make onlookers want to insert themselves into your life to stir up trouble. Your life isn’t someone else’s entertainment.
Don’t Resort to Extremes
Keep your cool about the situation. The relationship may not have ended on the best of terms, but there’s a correct way to handle a messy breakup. Revenge won’t solve anything and could land you in a heap of trouble.
Don’t escalate any animosity or allow your friends to fuel your rage. It’s normal to feel hurt and angry, but don’t act on it.
Whatever you do, don’t listen to Carrie Underwood’s advice and take a Louisville slugger to his headlights. Be a mature adult and avoid ending up in prison.
What to Do About Mutual Friends
If you had mutual friends, make it clear that you have no interest in getting back together with him or letting them act as messengers between the two of you. You’ve made your decision and they should respect it.
Keep in mind that your mutual friends don’t have to choose sides between the two of you, either. However, just because they’re friends with him doesn’t mean they can’t be supportive of you.
Take Some Alone Time
Don’t feel like you have to jump into another relationship or find a rebound just because things didn’t work out. Take some time to figure out what is most important to you in a relationship.
In the meantime, do things you love with people who are important to you. It’s less destructive and can teach you a lot about yourself.
Cheating Advice You Can Trust
Knowing what to do when your husband cheats on you can be almost impossible. Your judgment is clouded by what you thought was a perfect relationship, but the person you thought had your back has betrayed you in the worst way.
Ultimately, you’ll know the circumstances surrounding the infidelity and be able to decide for yourself whether or not you want to give things another try. It’s possible to repair your relationship after your husband cheats, but only you know what is right moving forward.
Always remember that the infidelity wasn’t your fault. There’s no excuse to cheat on a partner and it reflects on him and his issues.
Once you’ve made your decision, look into additional cheating advice and resources that will help you move forward.