If only I had somehow gained access to a smartphone back in 1990.
That was when my husband was cheating on me with a much younger co-worker. You see, I could have taken advantage of today’s smartphone apps designed to catch a spouse cheating, and perhaps, who knows… maybe saved my marriage?
Alas, the first iPhone came out in 2007, just a few years too late- well past the point of no return for what I had believed to be the most amazing marriage. Right under my nose, a whole new life for both me and my husband had already begun.
Had I seen the signs earlier, would things have played out differently?
It’s a moot point now, but the question begs asking. If I had seen the signs earlier, could I have confronted my husband and stopped the roller coaster of despair that was to follow?
Think of it: if I had known earlier on that my man was playing around, maybe something could have been done. Experts agree that communicating is key, but they also warn that philandering spouses will lie unless presented with evidence. Sadly, cheaters will become liars when they try and wriggle out from under your accusations…so go in with some documentation, the type that’s hard to argue with.
So, if experts agree that confronting an unfaithful spouse should not be attempted until there’s evidence, where does that leave us?
Option #1: Private Investigators Can Catch a Spouse Cheating
You could go old-school and hire a private investigator. For me, that was the only route available in 1990 and unlucky for me I could not afford it. Private investigators can certainly get the job done: they’ve been doing it for decades, perhaps even centuries. In fact, even today it’s the method of choice for those who are both wealthy and suspicious of their partner in marriage.
For those of you who are not wealthy, there are ways to take matters into our own hands. If you’re not rich enough to hire your own investigator, you could always learn how to be one yourself. There’s a truly helpful ebook entitled “Catch a Cheating Spouse”. You can read about the tactics private investigators use in domestic cases and try them out yourself.
Option #2: Smartphone Apps Can Catch a Spouse Cheating
Gathering evidence is certainly easier today than it was just 10 years ago. For those who want to take the do-it-yourself approach to private investigating methods, there are always smartphone apps and the more traditional use for using home security camera brands and hiding them around your home while you’re on vacation. These are APPs which will tell you everything you want to know… all the juicy details.
These APPs are often effective because chances are, if there’s cheating going on, there’s usually a cell phone involved.
So, what are these APPs and what do they tell us? Most will supply you with some or all of the following data from a suspected cheater’s phone. Here are the major “players”:
- text messages
- email messages
- GPS locations
- voice mails
- instant messages
- recorded phone calls
Most can be installed on both Android and iPhones, although for some you’ll need a jailbroken iPhone.
1. Mspy. This popular APP has more than a million paid users, which tells us something about the role of technology in modern relationships. You get to monitor keyboard strokes, location data and phone calls and it claims to be 100% “undetectable”.
2. Flexispy. Their Extreme version allows you to listen to and record phone calls, and comes with a password cracker, among other tools.
3. StealthGenie. Records voicemail, texts and email. Also pulls in the user’s contacts, gives access to photos and lets you see their appointments.
4. TopSpyApp. Although marketed for parents and employers, an obvious use is for keeping tabs on your spouse, like all the others. The only difference here is that TopSpyApp is operating within legal boundaries by not marketing their APP for illegal uses (see below for the legalities of APPS to catch cheaters.
One Quick Note on Spy APPs …
Suspicious husbands and wives will somehow need to gain secret access to the “cheater’s” cell phone to install the APP, and that’s where things get very complicated. Now we’re dealing with legal issues and privacy violations that may open a can of worms just when you’re least able to deal with another huge problem.
So, to help you decide whether spy APPs are worth the risk of conducting illegal activity and whether you’d be better off just hiring a PI or learning to become one yourself, let’s take a look at the matter…
Spy Apps are Technically Illegal!
If you’re uncomfortable with breaking the law (not to mention a few moral and ethical codes) then smartphone spy APPs are not for you. Hire a private investigator and if you can’t afford that, learn how to gather your own evidence.
We now know that one can certainly go to jail for developing a spy app…Last month’s arrest of StealthGenie developer Hammad Akbar proves that. It’s the first time U.S. Federal courts have heard a case involving spyware APPS, and it probably won’t be the last.
While this represents the first case of an APP developer getting into trouble for spyware, we still have yet to see what happens to the people who purchase and use the APPs, like you.
People like Mr. Akbar can get into trouble with the Feds for developing spy APPs, but can you get in trouble for using one?
The StealthGenie case does not involve any charges for customers, according to the Justice Department via WIRED magazine. They’re not going after anyone who currently has purchased StealthGenie, but it’s only a matter of time before this will become a serious consideration for future cases.
Can You Be Sued for Using Spy Apps?
So for now this type of Federal prosecution may be a long way off, but what about an angry husband or wife whose privacy was violated via a spy APP?
Victims of APPS designed to catch a spouse cheating will undoubtedly find it within themselves to attempt civil litigation. You can bet your bottom dollar that revenge litigation will rear its ugly head.
In other words, if you use a spy APP used for catching your husband or wife in the act, then prepare for a nasty lawsuit. Don’t become the poster child for spy APP litigation against end users. You obviously have enough on your plate right now, without a nasty invasion of privacy lawsuit from your angry ex.
So what do you think? Are illegal spy APPs worth the risk of getting caught breaking the law? Or would you simply keep it legal and get the ebook instead?