One of the hardest things you may ever do is find it within yourself to forgive your spouse after they cheat on you. But realize that the act of forgiveness is something that will make your life better and has nothing to do with the other person. Forgiving your spouse can be a very difficult thing to do, but it is beneficial for you in order to heal from the trauma and move on with your life with or without your partner.
But forgiving often proves to be more challenging than you think! Offering forgiveness is a worthwhile feat. Forgiveness builds you up!
Read these points about forgiveness to better understand why it’s best to forgive your spouse for cheating:
Forgiveness is Not Condoning or Justifying
First, let’s realize that when you forgive your spouse for cheating, you’re not condoning the behavior. So many people believe if they forgive someone for a wrong done to them that means they’re saying it’s okay that they did it. No. That is not the case. It’s also not a way to justify what the person did to wrong you. Nothing can make what happened go away, or change the wrongness of it.
Forgiveness Decreases the Feelings of Hostility
When you’re going through adultery issues, forgiving your spouse is very difficult, but necessary. The reason is that when you truly forgive someone you can move on from the past and the hostility that you feel when you think of their actions and finally move toward a better relationship with your spouse.
Also, in all honesty, even if you don’t make your marriage work after the affair, forgiveness will still be beneficial to you because you’re going to feel better and freer.
Forgiveness Lowers the Incidences of Depression
When you forgive, and truly let go of your negative feelings associated with the incident you’ll be less likely to suffer as much depression and you’ll be able to get through it if you do. The reason is that you’ll start focusing on healing rather than revenge when you truly forgive your partner for cheating on you.
Forgiveness Enhances Your Feelings of Well-Being
When you forgive someone, instead of negative stuff swirling around in your brain unchecked, you actively seek to change those feelings to positive feelings and that will make you feel a lot better. You will be so much stronger when you forgive and move forward.
We all know people who have allowed their hate and bitterness to take over their lives. You don’t want that and you don’t have to have that, no matter what was done to you.
Forgiveness Improves Mental Health
Look around you and you’ll soon realize you can categorize your friends and family into those who forgive and those who don’t. The ones who don’t are often bitter, resentful, and may even end up with drug abuse problems due to never being happy in the present because of what happened in the past.
Forgiveness Increases Physical Health
When you’re not weighed down with the bad thoughts about the affair, or anything else that is negative that you can hold on to or let go will increase your physical health. Your health can be affected in a big way by negativity and anger. People with this type of problem often end up with strokes or heart attacks, not to mention it will show on their face with more rapid aging.
Forgiveness Can Save Your Marriage
If you don’t forgive your spouse as soon as you can, you can’t start the healing process in order to save your marriage. Even though you have every right to be angry and upset, if you hold on to it for too long your spouse will give up and move on with someone else.
This isn’t a threat and doesn’t make it right but you need to be the sort of person someone wants to fix a marriage with and let go of transgressions if you really want to save your marriage.
All Healthy Relationships Need Forgiveness
Remember that the people we love will often do things that hurt us, spouses, parents, kids, siblings, friends and so on; the only ones we seem to avoid forgiving are spouses. This is not a good thing. Spouses need forgiveness too.
You may need to forgive your him/her over and over again, just like you would your child. You’re not perfect either, and you’ll need forgiveness at some point too. If your spouse isn’t that safe place to fall and count on forgiveness then where is?
Remember, forgiving your spouse doesn’t mean you have to get back together, but it does mean that you need to let go of the bitterness, turning the situation around in your mind for hours at a time, and focusing on the harm done. Instead, forgive so that you can focus on making your life better. You’ll be healthier in every way possible if you learn to forgive your them.
The power of forgiveness is within you. Use it for your own greater happiness.