When he leaves for the other woman, what do you do? How can you let go when your heart hurts so much? The end of a relationship is always difficult, especially when you’re the one being left behind.
That’s what it feels like. You feel that your husband has moved on while you’re still clinging to the past, wondering what went wrong and why this happened. Honestly, you may never find the answers to those last two questions, but you can learn how to let go.
Understand That It’s Not Your Fault
The first thing that you need to realize is that it’s not your fault. You’re not to blame and there is likely nothing that you could have done differently to have prevented him from leaving.
In the end, everyone is responsible for their own decisions. Your husband leaving is not your fault. It was their decision to leave. So, there’s no use in trying to put the blame on yourself.
Come to Terms with the Grieving Process
Next, you should understand that a lot of the feeling that you’re experiencing fall into the grieving category. You’re grieving for the end of your relationship. The longer the relationship the longer this process may take.
This is similar to the grieving process for any other loss and you’ll likely go through the 5 stages of grief:
Relationships can be painful. It can be hard to let go when things go bad. But, it is too easy to dwell on the past. This is why it is often so hard to move on. However, there are ways to ease the grieving process.
Dealing with Denial
Denial is when you cannot accept the fact that the relationship is over. You will continue to ask yourself why things happened the way that they did.
Unfortunately, you may never know the answer. You need to accept this. Tell yourself that it isn’t your fault. You are simply experiencing grief.
By making this realization, you can take the steps necessary to move on. Stop telling yourself that he will come back or that this is all just a crazy nightmare. Stop denying the truth.
Redirecting Your Anger
Anger is also just as common. To a certain level, this anger is completely understandable. And, you can’t bottle it up. You need to find an outlet for your anger, such as a new hobby or activity to help relieve stress.
Boxing is a fun way to get your anger out. Hitting a punching bag as hard as you can while imagining the face of your ex on the bag can be therapeutic.
Bargaining with Your Ex
You may also be tempted to get back in touch with your ex. When you still hold on to the possibility that the relationship is not really over, you will never be able to move on.
When you start reflecting on what you could have done differently, it’s time to redirect your focus. To keep yourself from dwelling on the past, focus on the now. Meditation and exercise can help.
You should also cut off contact with your ex, as much as possible. Obviously, this is difficult when mutual possessions, children, and pets are involved. But, you should not spend time browsing their Facebook feed or trying to contact them.
Conquering Your Depression
Another issue that can keep you from moving on is the depression that you may experience. When he leaves you for the other woman, you could find yourself feeling inadequate and empty inside.
It’s easy to fill this hole with food or the comfort of strangers. Instead, rely on the previous suggestions. Continue to focus on the present and find ways to occupy your time. Look for new activities to keep you busy.
Coming to Accept What You Cannot Control
The final stage of grief is acceptance. When you finally come to accept the fact that the relationship is over, you are able to begin moving forward. Though, the pain will not completely disappear.
This stage appears suddenly. You will catch yourself having a good time and realize that you’re no longer dwelling on the past as often.
You Need Time and Acceptance to Move On
As much as your heart may hurt right now, you also need to realize that it takes time for your heart to heal. You won’t go through the 5 stages of grief overnight.
He chose the other woman over you, what you need most of all is time. The old saying, time heals all wounds, is only partially true. It’s what you do with that time that helps you heal the wounds.
Even with time, the wound may not fully recover. It may still feel tender when it is pricked or prodded. But, you can move on with your life and learn to love again.
Do Not Hold on to the Past When He Leaves for the Other Woman
Keep these thoughts in mind, if you’re going through this right now. Bookmark this article, pin it, or save it so that you can refer back to it when you need to remember the steps for dealing with your grief over your relationship.
You will first need to understand that it’s not your fault. You cannot continue to blame yourself. Along with realizing that it’s not your fault, you will likely go through denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally acceptance.
Of course, the pain will not fully go away. You may still feel the hole in your heart. But, it will become less painful.
You have the power to move on. When your husband leaves you for someone else, there are two main things that you need – time and a busy lifestyle. Keep yourself busy and time will fly by.
As time passes, your old wounds will slowly heal. You will begin to truly live again. You have the strength to move forward when your husband chose another woman over you – you just need a little time.
If you’re dealing with infidelity, there is help available. Along with these tips, make sure that you browse the rest of our blog to learn valuable tips and advice from infidelity experts.