The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong (Mahatma Gandhi). Your spouse’s affair has turned your life upside down without your permission. Is forgiving infidelity in the cards for you? Or do you feel that you’ll never be able to forgive them for the betrayal? What conditions are conducive to forgiving your spouse after an affair?
One of the most frustrating issue you face after the disclosure of your husband’s affair is getting him to open up and talk about the affair with you. There are certain things that you feel you ought to know in order for you to sort things out and begin to heal, but your attempts at discussion are being stymied. Generally speaking, it’s not that he feels you don’t have the right to know the details, rather it usually is because he finds it uncomfortable to do so or he wants to pretend the affair never happened.
When you are in the process of recovering from infidelity, it helps to devise a phased and workable plan that you can put into action to survive the infidelity and heal from the pain. Aside from shredding your relationship with and trust in your spouse and your sense of peace, adultery can also be very overwhelming to deal with since you have more going on in your life than just the affair.
An affair shatters the trust and feelings of an unbreakable bond in your marriage. In order to survive the affair and restore the trust in your relationship after cheating, you and your spouse need to commit to and also make a conscious effort to do things completely different from the way it was before the infidelity happened. That involves being completely open and honest about every aspect of your individual lives. Meaning no more secrets, half-truths or outright lies.
When infidelity strikes in your relationship, you are faced with what may seem like overwhelming problems. It may seem like you are in a no-win situation. Healing after an affair for the loyal spouse can be very challenging because of having to deal with the onslaught of negative thoughts, emotions and the loss of trust in your partner. For the two of you to move forward certain concerns need to be addressed and sorted out.