The day you learned of your spouse’s affair is the day your heart died. The shock, disappointment, and pain of learning of your spouse’s betrayal is just too much to bear. It hurts like hell to have someone you love so much betray you in such a dastardly way. But where to begin and is healing after an affair even possible?
A marital affair is not confined to physical betrayal only. Emotional adultery is just as common today and cause just as much hurt, pain and heartbreak, so healing and coping after an emotional affair is the same process.
Discovering that your spouse is involved in an emotional affair is a painful thing to deal with.
They have formed a close bond with someone else and this often triggers negative feelings and emotions such as anger, sadness and anxiety, in you.
No other experience can prepare you for the painful emotions you’ll endure after discovering your spouse betrayed you with someone else. It’s not uncommon to be obsessively reviewing the painful memories long after the affair is over. No one else can bear the pain for you, not even your wayward partner. Even if they are truly sorry for what they did and want to make amends, they cannot erase the pain or make it go away.
The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong (Mahatma Gandhi). Your spouse’s affair has turned your life upside down without your permission. Is forgiving infidelity in the cards for you? Or do you feel that you’ll never be able to forgive them for the betrayal? What conditions are conducive to forgiving your spouse after an affair?
One of the most frustrating issue you face after the disclosure of your husband’s affair is getting him to open up and talk about the affair with you. There are certain things that you feel you ought to know in order for you to sort things out and begin to heal, but your attempts at discussion are being stymied. Generally speaking, it’s not that he feels you don’t have the right to know the details, rather it usually is because he finds it uncomfortable to do so or he wants to pretend the affair never happened.