Does your mind sometimes race… even keeping you up at night… trying to figure out how to make your husband love you again?
Are you longing to rekindle the intense passion and sizzle back into your marriage?
Are you wishing he would open up and share himself with you and return that loving feeling into your relationship?
It is absolutely devastating to learn that your husband either no longer desires you or has fallen out of love with you.
Unfortunately, no marriage will be without mistakes, fights, or issues and it is often these mistakes and issues that cause marriages to feel and be loveless.
This does not necessarily mean that your husband has completely stopped loving you. But it does mean that there is a problem that is either causing him to fall out of love or causing him to sequester or pull away his love from you.
Typically, the best route for you to go is to first find out if he has indeed really stopped loving you and if he has, figure out the reason why.
Once you have identified the problem, you have to go about fixing it either through your own means or with professional help. However, along the way there are a few things you can do to make your husband love you again.
Tips On What You Can Do For Him – Making an Outward Effort
1) Learn His Love Language: every man is different, so this will take some time and effort but if you learn how he sends and receives love, you will be better able to communicate with him.
According to Huffington Post, knowing each other’s love language will help you “meet their emotional needs” which is critical in every marriage.
There are five love languages altogether according to Gary Chapman and they are words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, spending quality time together, and physical touch.
The trick is to learn his love language and speak it to him frequently.
Once you know how he “hears” love, you can reduce the number of times you are doing other things and concentrate on speaking to him in a way he understands.
When his love tank is full, he’s more willing and ready to speak your love language, making you feel incredibly appreciated, cared for, cherished and loved.
When you both have full love tanks, your relationship will blossom and you won’t ever question again whether or not he loves you or appreciates you for who you are.
2) Show Him Some Appreciation And Respect: men love respect and women crave love. From a man’s point of view, respect and appreciation will float his boat every day.
What he wants is to make you happy and to feel that you see and appreciate him for his own abilities and talents.
We all have problems and issues in our lives. After living together for a period of time, each of us reveal more about our character flaws than we might like.
When you can show appreciation and respect after you’ve come to know his flaws and problems will make him love you even more.
This type of appreciation and respect cannot be faked.
You will have to be genuine about how you feel about his job, performance, ideas, and relationships.
When he does something for you, whether that be within the marriage or around the house and no matter how small it is, you should tell him or show him how much you appreciate his actions.
When you can be specific with your compliments and praise it means even more. This might be something that is foreign to you, but it’s important to practice.
Spend a few minutes each day before you see your husband in the evening to think of some of the things he’s done in the past days or week.
Write them down and tell him specifically when you see him.
Send him a text message that tells him you appreciate his efforts to help you last week or for getting those concert tickets you wanted.
Another way of doing this in a subtle manner is by sending him little love notes that outline everything that he is doing right.
Make sure you are thanking him for just being himself. If he is a hard-working father, thank him for that too.
When he feels appreciated, he will feel proud of himself and this will make him see you in a more favorable light.
3) Remind Him of When He Fell in Love With You: the idea here is to take aspects of what brought you together and recreate them.
If you had longer hair when you first met or picked up a favorite hobby together, try growing your hair out and encouraging the two of you to try that hobby again.
Take some time alone together to remember all of the good things that have made your marriage what it is. Too often we focus on nothing but the negative and forget that it is the positive that keeps you glued together.
When possible, have date nights and make spending time together a priority.
4) Increase The Intimacy Levels: as your job becomes more hectic and the kids’ demand time, too often couples lose out on intimacy.
Whether this is because of exhaustion due to stress and fighting or because your financial situation requires you to work more, readjust yourself to make love.
If that means you have to take more time off work or get a friend to take your kids to their weekly sport, do it. Physical intimacy will increase how psychologically connected you feel.
5) Stop Nagging Him or Being Controlling: if you have the bad habit of making your man feel like he is walking on eggshells all the time or is always hearing about one complaint or another, he’s going to become impatient and disillusioned with you.
When you take out your frustrations and insecurities on him, this is what ends up driving him away.
Don’t Forget To Focus On Yourself – Inward Effort is Sexy!
6) Take Better Care of Yourself: whether this means cooking healthier meals for yourself and the kids or hitting the gym a couple times a week.
When you choose to take care of yourself outside of your relationship, this shows off that you are still an individual who has interests and hobbies.
This is incredibly attractive to men!
Another take on this is to find your own passion, whether this is an activity you haven’t picked up in a long time or a dream you never got around to fulfilling.
When you find yourself filled with passion and inspiration, this is going to automatically draw him to you.
7) Dress Yourself Up: although every man is different, for most, how attractive you are physically, matters.
This is not to say that men are shallow, but rather to say that the more effort you put into how you dress up and present yourself, is going to draw more attention.
So, dress yourself up more by putting on that gorgeous top, dawning that beautiful dress, and getting your hair done for a date night out.
If you can get his attention focused back on you, you get a chance to remind him what he’s been missing out on. Plus, you get to feel sexy and confident!
In Summary: Choose to be You Again
When it truly comes down to it, all you need to do is be who you are.
Take this time to get to know yourself better and enjoy learning something new in your life.
When you are together, suggest things that are new and different.
If you normally would go for dinner, pack a picnic lunch and go to the park. Go ice-skating in the winter or rollerblading in the summer.
Activities that get the blood pumping also get the Adrenalin running and sometimes that Adrenalin can move you both toward more emotional intimacy.
Don’t try to be too accommodating for him and certainly do not try to control him but instead give him the time and space he needs to be himself.
Remember, when you first get into a relationship it is all sunshine and rainbows, so try to reflect that and remove the negativity that you’ve been experiencing in your relationship.
By doing this, it’ll be easier for him to see why he was drawn to you in the first place.