Dealing with the aftermath of your husband’s affair is an emotionally draining experience.
If your self-esteem has been demolished as a result of the cheating, realize that you can regain it and become your true self… that strong person that you are capable of being.
A healthy sense of self-esteem is essential to the strength of your relationship. So if you want to save your marriage after the affair, then you need to start working on improving your low self-esteem right away.
Why self-esteem is important
Self-esteem is how you view yourself. It’s the lens you look through when you consider who you are. If you have low self-esteem, you may view yourself in a negative way. Instead of thinking about how you have the gift for communication, you see yourself as someone who just can’t shut up.
When you have low self-esteem, it’s easy to fixate on your flaws. But you don’t have to let low self-esteem destroy your confidence. There are simple steps you can take to start building up your self-esteem today.
Stop living in the past
People with low self-esteem often hold on to their old mistakes or past wrongs. They replay them in their minds again and again, wishing they could do things differently. But the problem is that you can’t change the past.
Accept that the affair did happen and no amount of wishing and hoping can change that fact.
The first step toward increasing your self-esteem is to forgive yourself and let go of mistakes you’ve made or wrongs you’ve suffered. One way you could do this is by journaling about your mistake and destroying the pages when you’re finished.
Any time you’re tempted to relive your mistakes, remind yourself that those pages of your life are gone and that today’s a new day.
Pursue work that you enjoy
Low self-esteem can take a toll on your ambitions. You may be stuck at a job you hate because you worry that another employer won’t want you or that you have nothing valuable to bring to another employer.
Building up your self-esteem can help you find work that you’ll enjoy. Start by looking at your current job.
What do you enjoy? What areas do you shine in? Try asking your boss these questions or look at your old job reviews for answers.
If you’re in a job you hate and you can’t change it, do things you enjoy in your free time. Pick up an old hobby or look for a new one. This is a simple way to discover talents and abilities that you didn’t know you had.
Finish a project you really care about
Focus on what you’re naturally drawn to. Maybe you’re crafty and can knit blankets. Maybe you love creating new recipes in your kitchen. When you focus on finishing projects you enjoy, your self-esteem will slowly increase.
You’ll start to feel better about yourself and have the energy to do even more of the things you love.
When it comes to building up your self-esteem, understand that it’s a gradual process. Concentrate on taking small steps toward your goals and be kind to yourself when you make a mistake.
Self-Esteem Booster: Compare Yourself to You
Stop comparing yourself to the other woman. The only thing that matters is the improvements you make in your life. You are not supposed to be like anyone else.
1. What can I do to keep moving forward emotionally?
2. How can I let go of any past hurts that I’m still holding onto?
3. What do I need to do to sustain me on my journey?