Get Started Healing Your Marriage
If your husband is emotionally distant and you feel the constant need to pursue him you may feel very alone, but the truth is you are not. Eighty percent of couples deal with this at some point in their marriage.
The problem with pursuing him and trying to fix things is that you are the only one putting effort into the marriage. This creates a “comfort zone” for your emotionally distant husband. He feels that he need not put in the effort, because you will always be there. You must come at this from a different angle.
Stop begging him to talk. If he wanted to share his heart with you, you would not have to work to get him to do it.
Stop changing who you are in order to please him. If you have been with him for many years, you may feel like you have lost yourself while trying to please him. Find yourself.
Stop suggesting marriage counseling. You have likely been suggesting counseling for a while now to no avail. An emotionally distant husband will not respond to what he perceives as nagging.
Stop going out of your way to work on your marriage. One person working on the marriage never works.
Go about your business and live your life. Immerse yourself in the things that are important to you, such as your children, hobbies, or work.
What will happen:
When you stop constantly worrying about your emotionally distant husband and start focusing on yourself you will feel more in control of your life. He will be taken aback by your new behavior and, if he values your marriage, he will change his behavior.
You should be able to re-evaluate the marriage based on how his behavior has changed. At this point, you can determine whether he is willing to work on the marriage alongside you or if other action needs to be taken.
For a visual of all this check out the infographic below.
Image via Dr. Bob Huizenga