All too often the spouse who had the affair wants to “move on” once everything is out in the open, but for the betrayed spouse, the hurt continues on whether they want it to or not. “Moving on” isn’t even an option especially in the early stages after D-Day.
However, a couple could still rebuild trust and love. The degree and period of recovery are largely affected by the behaviors of the cheater. However, a lot of cheaters don’t understand the emotions of their partners and don’t have any idea of the things they need to do to rebuild trust.
Reading books can help you get through many things, including helping your spouse and you overcome infidelity. The book: How to Help Your spouse Heal from Your Affair by Linda J. MacDonald, M.S., LMFT is one such book.
This book is geared towards the spouse that had the affair and helps them to understand the ups and downs of what is to come. It is an outline of how they can own up to what they did and help their loyal spouse to recover and move forward together.
This book also helps the former wayward spouse to realize that just because the affair is over, the pain and suffering for their partner is not. They may have closed that door, but for the hurt spouse this doesn’t happen right away.
The author, Linda MacDonald is a licensed marriage and family therapist who has focused on helping families recover from many marital difficulties including affairs. She focuses on infidelity and considers herself an infidelity specialist. She wrote a one-act play that is performed in churches, camps, and schools called Broken Heart.
She has over 26 years of experience helping couples overcome infidelity and makes their marriage strong and solid, even more so after the therapy than before the affair. Her focus is Christian oriented counseling for overcoming many issues related to infidelity and marriage.
Here’s a quick video overview of the book
How to Help Your Spouse Heal From Your Affair
When an affair comes to light, oftentimes the wayward spouse realizes the error of their ways and they now want to save their relationships. Most of the time though, they make dreadful mistakes in their failed efforts to win back their wife or husband’s trust.
Ms. MacDonald has identified attitudes and actions which contribute to an unfaithful spouse’s failure or success to mend the marriage after the devastating affair.
How to Help Your Spouse Heal From Your Affair provides practical suggestion for people who have gone astray and wanting for a second chance. It also offers effective methods to help the couple bring their relationship back on track.
The book discusses the “15 Essential Steps for Repair” which helps you understand how to tell your spouse about your affair, how to deal with your spouse’s questions and concerns, and how to finally rebuild the trust in the marriage that has been broken. The book does a good job in a short amount of space helping you work through these steps so that you can rebuild a strong marriage.
Inside you’ll learn about:
- Fifteen essential steps to fix after betrayal
- Important guidelines to avoid the pot holes which doom relationships or marriage after betrayal
- Skills to deal with your partner’s obsessions
- Ways to release the pain from lies and betrayal
- The major differences between harmful and helpful apologies
- The important keys to keep from prolonging the agony for you and your spouse
- How to mend the broken marriage and integrity
While this counselor focuses on Christian means, she strays from the norm of making the wife the most responsible for the affair. She helps put the blame where it belongs, with the cheater and helps you, if you are the one who betrayed your spouse, overcome the affair in the best possible way for success.
The truth is, most times both spouses do share some blame, but only the spouse who committed the adultery can take blame for the ultimate betrayal and only that spouse can fully take the brunt of the blame in this situation as well as the one who will be required to make the most changes to make the marriage work.
It’s only when a spouse has accepted the job ahead and followed the steps in the book without question that healing occurs. If you’re looking for an excuse about your affair, this book will not provide it for you. If you are looking for a way to bring your marriage back to its former glory and maybe even better than before, then this book is for you. But be warned, the journey is not one for the person looking for excuses for their behavior or a way out.
If you are committed to your marriage, and stopping your affair, as well as rebuilding your marriage in a healthy way building up an arsenal of resources will help. This book is a good start.
“How to Help Your Spouse Heal From Your Affair” is available on Amazon in either Kindle, Paperback or Audio book.