If you are one of thousands of spouses who suspect that your partner is cheating on you, then you probably have a high level of emotion going through your mind and heart at any given moment of the day.
You try to work and the thoughts cross your mind, you try to fix dinner and horrible invasive thoughts come up, and you try to live your life with your spouse as if everything is normal but you know it’s not, you just don’t have the right proof to validate your feelings.
So, you go through the motions of life without actually loving anything about it due to that horrible feeling that rises when you least expect it.
This is the plight of many married couples the world over. They believe their spouse is likely cheating, but they are too afraid to ask, or they are too afraid to find out for certain. Because, once you find out you have to do something about it.
Once your spouse knows that you know and cannot deny it any longer you are fearful of what that will mean. Will it mean the end of your marriage? Will it mean that you and your spouse can start over? What happens if everything is out in the open?
As a person who believes their spouse may be cheating on them a lot of things may come to mind to try. But, if you really want to catch your cheating spouse you’ll need to avoid these mistakes.
Here’s what you need to know in order to catch a cheating partner and put an end to the doubts.
Accusing Without Basis
Do not ever accuse your spouse without any basis or fact to back up your accusations. The truth is most cheating spouses are going to continue lying and deflecting for as long as possible until they are caught red handed. By going to your spouse and accusing them, especially if you do it often, you are just setting yourself up to be lied to and to have your self-esteem torn down.
Plus, if your spouse is not cheating, you could be putting a wedge into your marriage that won’t be easily lifted. In fact, many people who often accuse their spouse of cheating, without merit are cheating. You don’t want to send the wrong message to your spouse, especially if they really aren’t cheating. Although studies have shown that at least half of those who are suspected of cheating are cheating.
Not Learning the Signs of Cheating
There are many signs of a cheating spouse. Pay attention to these signs and learn about them so that you can decipher through how your spouse communicates whether or not they are cheating on you.
- Boredom – When you’re with your spouse do you notice them being bored or in a hurry to be apart from you?
- New Behavior – Your spouse changes a long known pattern of behavior, they suddenly love something they never liked.
- Thrill Seeking – Your spouse is becoming a dare devil wanting to seek more and more thrills than they did in the past.
- Less Intimacy – You and your spouse don’t have deep discussions about the future anymore.
- No Sex – You notice you and your spouse haven’t had sex for months and there is no underlying health reason.
- Low Self Esteem – Your spouse seems to have low self-image that is increased through artificial means such as attention from the opposite sex.
- Laziness – Your spouse no longer tries to get any work done at home.
- Lack of Communication – Your spouse doesn’t talk to you anymore about anything.
- Secretive Behavior – Your spouse jumps when you walk into a room, especially if they’re using electronic devices and suddenly wants their own passwords.
- Defensive Attitude – If you say anything about cheating your spouse acts defensive even without an accusation. During movies they take the cheater’s side.
- Longer Work Hours – Your spouse is working longer hours without anything to show for it.
- A Sudden Makeover – Your spouse cares how they look going to the grocery store when in the past they did not.
- Missing Money – You find strange credit card charges, or missing money that cannot be explained that your spouse tries to hide from you.
- Sudden Loss of Religion – Your spouse doesn’t want to go to church, or seems to be leaning away from whatever you believed previously.
If you can train yourself to learn the signs of cheating, and pay close attention to your spouse’s behavior you might be able to figure out if your spouse is cheating easier.
Not Detecting Mistakes Cheaters Make
All cheaters make common mistakes to cover up their activity. If you don’t learn about them you might not figure out your spouse is cheating. Some of the mistakes are:
Smelling Like Their Lover – If you notice your spouse smelling differently without using a new perfume or cologne then pay attention.
They Leave Love Notes About – You clean out your spouse’s pockets to wash the clothing and they leave a note in their pocket. Or tickets. Or Condoms. Or something that you would not expect that points to cheating.
They are Protective of Privacy – Most married couples let go of privacy concerns after a certain time of marriage. But cheaters will become more protective of their privacy, hiding purses, computer passwords, and more.
There are many other classic signs of cheating that you should make yourself aware of when it comes to the possibility of your spouse cheating. Learn about everything you can so that you can better catch your cheating spouse and move on from this horrible time.
Have you ever caught your spouse cheating? If so how?