If you suspect that your spouse is cheating on you, you are either right or wrong. But either way knowing for sure is better than the uncertainty of not knowing at all. Certainly you can snoop around yourself, but can you handle the stress involved? The biggest problem with self snooping though is letting your emotions get in the way.
How to catch a cheater
Cheaters are known to use all sorts of tactics to keep their affairs secret. They’ll make it so that if you become suspicious and start snooping around you’d have no way of gathering evidence against them.
Some methods that cheating spouses use to hide their affairs are:
- using a throwaway email associated with a fictitious name that cannot be traced back to them
- using an alternate phone number such as Google voice to contact their lover
- using cash only to finance the affair – by using cash instead of checks or credit cards which can leave a paper trail behind, the cheater greatly reduces his/her chance of getting caught by their spouse
If you like the idea of being your own investigator, the “How to Catch a Cheating Spouse” is a great resource. It’ll give you all the best methods that exist for catching a cheating husband or cheating wife.
Clearly getting all the facts will help you to overcome your fears, doubts and confusion. But before you rush out and hire a private eye, consider the following:
What is the purpose of hiring the P.I.? Are you doing it to compile legal evidence to be used in court? If so, then be sure to hire a legal investigator as they have the experience and they know what the rules are and what is going to hold up in court.
What are you going to do with the evidence? For instance, if you find out for sure that they are indeed cheating, what are you going to do? Confront your spouse? File for a divorce?
What are the costs, risks and benefits? Hiring a P.I. Is not going to be cheap. Do you have enough funds to see the investigation through to the end?
You need to have a clear idea of what you want to accomplish before you take such an important and potentially expensive step.
Why hire a private investigator?
For one thing they are the experts. They have the investigative skills and tools to do the job right. They are licensed by the state to do what they do best, and that is surveillance and gathering information. If your reason for catching a cheating spouse is to gather evidence to be used in court, here’s where the services of the investigator can really help you.
They know what is required by state law. They know what is legal and what is not and they can help minimize the risk of your evidence being thrown out of court.
Also, because of their years of experience and specialized training, they are much better than you at collecting information. And besides they are not emotionally involved like you are, so they can be more objective. A private investigator can be expensive but totally worth it, especially if you want to use the documented evidence in court.
The cons of hiring a private investigator
By far the biggest obstacle to working with a P.I. is the cost involved. Since every case is different, there isn’t a one size fits all when it comes to price. Depending on where you live, prices can be as low as $20 per hour or as high as $50 per hour or more.
What you should know before you hire a P.I.
Hiring a competent private investigator is no different than hiring any other professional like a financial adviser, accountant or lawyer. You have to do your due diligence upfront.
Here are some tips to help you determine if a private investigator is any good before you hire them.
Real-world training – when looking for a P.I. you want to choose someone with a solid background and experience. In other words, someone who has gained experience from working in the trenches and not from watching detective TV shows or movies. You also want to make sure they have been in business for awhile.
Licensing requirements – check that the outfit you’re considering is licensed to do business in your state. In fact most states now have mandatory licensing requirements to become a private investigator. To verify their credentials, just visit your state’s licensing authority website.
Are they insured – make sure that the private eye you hire has insurance coverage. This will protect you from potential liability should the P.I. while working on your case does something that
sets off a lawsuit or even criminal charges.
Areas of specialization – there is a wide range of things that investigators do and since no one can be good at everything, do look for a P.I. who specializes in investigating infidelity. Also, you’ll want to find out about how many such cases they handle in a year. You want to make sure that they have the experience and the know all to do a good job for you and not waste your time and money.
Cost – get an estimate upfront of what the total cost is likely to be for your case. The reason is, you don’t want to start the investigation only to have to stop it half way through because you lack the funds to see it through to the end. By knowing the full cost upfront, you can see right away if this is something you can afford to do.
Prices can vary widely among private investigators, so you should shop around. But resist the temptation to go with the lowest bidder because you may end up with someone who is inexperienced or worst yet, incompetent.
Ask for referrals – your best best here is to get referrals from a divorce attorney or other lawyers. Since lawyers use these services all the time, they are in the best position to direct you to a competent and capable P.I. outfit.
There are many ways to go about catching a cheating spouse, but the quickest and most efficient way is to engage the services of a private investigator. If you try to do your own snooping around, your emotions can and will get the better of you. This may lead you to prematurely confront your spouse before gathering all of the evidence. If your spouse is really having an affair, all this will do is to alert them to the fact that you are suspicious, which will most likely make them take the affair underground.
But by using the services of a private eye, there is no such risk. They have the experience and the equipment to get the job done. And most of all they are an impartial third party. Engaging a private investigator can really give you the peace of mind you’re looking for without tipping off your spouse or disrupting your life.