It can be really awful to suspect that your spouse is cheating, but you cannot prove it. Some cheating spouses will actually deflect and tell you that you’re crazy and any number of things to detract from what they are doing. Thinking your spouse is cheating, but not being able to prove it can cause just as many problems as knowing for sure.
Therefore, it’s important that if you really think your spouse is cheating to know how to figure it out without driving yourself crazy. Catching a cheating spouse can provide the point of no return in your marriage so that you can confront the situation and move on or find a way to make your marriage work.
Here’s what to do to catch a cheating partner…
Get Counseling – While your spouse cheating is not a sign that you have any sort of mental issues at all, getting counseling can actually help you be sure that your insecurity and mistrust of your spouse is warranted. Your counselor will be someone who is on your side that can be a sounding board for you to talk about what is going on within your marriage and in your life.
Hire a Professional Investigator – If you’re 99 percent sure, you can actually hire a private investigator who can gather the proof needed. You don’t want to go this far without being almost 100 percent certain because it is quite an expensive process to hire an investigator. Plus, if you are wrong, your spouse may not forgive you when they find out you have hired someone like this.
Spend More Time With Your Spouse – If you currently are living essentially separate lives, find ways to spend more time with your spouse doing the things they like to do. If you make them change up their known schedule you might figure out what is going on by accident. If they’re used to the fact that you never go on work trips with them, or you never call when they’re late coming home from work you set up expectations and create a lot of freedom to cheat.
Learn the Statistical Chances Your Spouse Will Cheat – If you’re still not sure if your spouse is cheating, and it’s just a mild thought that comes to your mind occasionally it might be a good idea to do some research more into the situation. How probable is it to start with that your spouse will cheat? Are there some red flags that could help push you over the edge to knowing from guessing?
Check Up On Your Spouse – If you’re not sure that your spouse is telling the truth about something rather than confronting them on it, check up on them. There is no point fighting with someone who is going to lie. You may as well gather irrefutable proof first. That way you can both move past the lie to discussing the truth so that you can both get better.
Learn to Detect Lying – If you really know your spouse, you can learn what they do when they lie. How do they talk when you see them lying to someone else? What facial expressions do they make? Do they talk too much, less, move their hands differently? Most people do get a feeling when their spouse lies, you just need to better identify it to know rather than think something.
Know Your Partner’s Body Language – Each person has their own body language but if you study body language in general you can learn how people generally act when they tell a lie. Try to detach yourself from the emotions of the situation so that you can look at the way your spouse moves their body, where they place their gaze and so forth.
Trust Yourself – More than likely, you already know many things about your spouse that you wish you did not know. You know what is in their character, the good and the bad, just like you know about yourself. If you’ve been together a long time you will learn to trust yourself. If you think something is happening, it more than likely is.
Ask Your Spouse – While this might not get you the right answer, sometimes if you can approach the situation correctly you can get your spouse to trust you enough to tell you the truth without anger. But, don’t do this all the time. If you continually harass your spouse and they’re not cheating, they are going to grow resentful of the accusations.
Unless you have some undefined mental illness, the truth is, if you think that your spouse is cheating you are more than likely correct. If you aren’t sure, you need to find out how to catch a cheating partner without waiting too long or getting caught in the process thus ruining the evidence that you can collect.
Remember that sometimes catching your spouse cheating isn’t about revenge; it’s about finding an ending to the suffering you are both experiencing so that you can both move on. How you move on will depend on what you and your spouse decide once all the cards are on the table. But, you definitely cannot move on without the truth being discovered.
If you have irrefutable proof of your spouse cheating, and calmly confront them with the facts with a witness present like a marriage counselor to help you both with your feelings, then there will be no denying it by the cheating spouse and you’ll both finally get to make real choices about where your marriage will go from here.
What benefits do you think there are in finding real proof that your spouse has in fact cheated?