About Me

Like most young girls of my generation, I dreamed of marrying my Prince Charming and riding off into the sunset to live happily ever after. Unfortunately, I was the victim of infidelity in my marriage.

The circumstances were unique – there was a temporary distance between us in geography, and when it first happened, I knew deep down what was happening. I just hoped that once we reunited, we would get back on track and everything would work out for the best.

Back then, I understood very little about infidelity. I was much younger and inexperienced in this topic, so I lost my husband to his new lover.

Over the years, I healed from the pain of this loss, but it became my mission to educate myself about repairing marriages where infidelity has occurred, so that I could teach other couples how to heal.

Today, there’s a lot of help for men and women who have caused or been victimized by infidelity. There’s no need for you to suffer in silence due to the shame that you feel.

There are many couples who never go to the effort to repair the damage that’s been done. That’s why the statistics are so grim for infidelity healing. But you’re here. You’re already proving that this marriage is worth it to you, so you’re going to be one of the lucky ones who recovers. All you need is some guidance, and I’m here to hold your hand – whether you were the one cheated on or the one doing the cheating.

This is not a place for blame. This is a place for healing. Some of you may find that it’s best to move on separated, while others intend to stay together. Either way, by the time we’re finished, your heart will no longer be shattered and you will have picked up the pieces and be ready to start the next phase of your journey.

Don’t put it off. The one thing I know is that the sooner you begin repairing things, the better. Waiting only widens the divide.

I know what you’re going through. I know the trauma you’re feeling. Rest assured there’s a light at the end of the tunnel and I can help renew your optimism.

While no one can guarantee the outcome of your story, the evidence is clear that where shattered hearts can be put together, a stronger marriage often results.

I was depressed for a year and only recovered with a help of Lyrica generic, which you can buy following the link.

It is impossible to know at the outset whether adultery is the harbinger of death in a marriage or a life altering wake up call that leads to a fresh start, but it is my hope that you’ll be comforted by the stories of those who have walked the path and come out stronger for the experience.

Recovering from infidelity is not impossible. With work, marriages can indeed recover and even flourish after the rift that betrayal opens has been repaired.

I invite you to begin your journey to recovery by downloading the “Overcoming Infidelity Kit.”

The kit includes a comprehensive guide, checklist and worksheet – all designed to walk you through the process and the stages of recovery that are common to relationships recovering from infidelity.

Take control of your marriage today and put yourself back on the road to happiness and download your free kit today.

To Your Fresh Start,

C Mellie Smith

14 thoughts on “About Me

  1. I am heartsick. 24 years married. 3 great kids. Two very stressful years with a death in family and other family issues but I felt it brought us closer than ever. Only to find out he was having an emotional affair. The husband of the woman called our home. My husband came clean. Said he wanted to telll me the guilt he felt was horrible. We agreed to work on our marriage. A month went by, the husband found my email somehow and contacted me direct about “the affair your husband is having with my wife”. He tried to Email several times to see what I knew. If more than him. Told him I could no longer do it. Too painful and not productive rehashing things. We wanted to work on our marriage. Holidays coming up. All parties agreed to stop communicating. I wonder if it has stopped tho. This woman was pursuing my husband hard. Yes it takes two bit she was painting the image of herself, Miss Wonderful. She wasn’t happy in her marriage. Has two young kids that she seemed to resent for ruining her party lifestyle. At first, after the phone call, it was don’t leave. I love you. Our family. A month went by and the husband contacted me directly and said it was still going on. Then it seemed like he wanted out…. but it was just the beginning of December. A family trip planned for Christmas. I did not want to be the reason our kids hated Christmas. We decided to get through the holidays. Supposedly it was he didn’t have a decision. A magic wand knowing. Wasn’t going to be December 26th and gone. It was excruciating holding this all in through the holidays. Still is. He is saying he needs time. His brain is scrambled. He doesn’t want to hurt anyone. He is that type of person too. My worry is I am the obligation, mother of his kids. He doesn’t want to hurt them. Or me I guess because of the years together. Now he suddenly tells me we had a problem communicating. Yes we have quiet times. I try to get him to talk but it’s he’s too tired from work and talking all day, wants to relax and not think. Ok I get it. So I sit. Or he despises his mother and her incessant talking and I didn’t want to be a reminder of that. So I wait for him to initiate. Now he says we don’t talk… don’t communicate… he says he is part to blame. I feel he doesn’t want to communicate with me. I asked him to go to therapy. He won’t. Doesn’t feel talking to someone will make him want to talk to me. Says he loves me. I get hugs a lot, holds my hand again says he loves me, will really look at me and remohazise it. Still have great sex, better than ever. So I just don’t understand it. All I do is cry. Trying to hold it together for my kids youngest is over 10 oldest college). Feel like I’m on pins and needles. What is the right or wrong thing to do with him? We have many projects in the works for our future. What happens a to those? I love him so much and anticipate a life of growing old together. I feel like an obligation now. He just doesn’t want to be the bad guy and hurt me. Hurt anyone. I always put our kids first. Wanted to be a good mom. Good wife. Told him to get away with the guys when he could, he works hard. I work from home, it’s a lot of work but I do it. I’ve tried to be the best of everything to everyone and feel like I failed so miserable and am going to be alone while he sails off into the sunset with his younger, more fun, more conversation, replacement for me. I just need some sort of input. Some sort of help. I haven’t told a soul about any of this. I can’t. Embarrassment of being a failure. And odd thing is he is a great man. I don’t want people, friend or family to think badly of him… I’m the one who failed. Someone please help me because I am getting eaten from the inside out. Guess the only perk to all of this is the 25 pounds I’ve lost lol… try to see a little humor in everything… I want to contact the husband to see if he knows if they have been in touch. But if my husband found out it would be I didn’t trust him in what he said. I am so paranoid about everything. Night time is the worst. Anxiety like I am crawling out of my skin. Someone please help me…

    • Infidelity is very painful to deal with. My best advice is to get help sooner rather than later. Talk to your spiritual advisor, a counselor or trusted friend/family member. There are so many options available for helping people in your situation. All the best.

    • You should seek counseling without him. The one thing that I learned is that the only thing you have control of is you. Midlife crisis is no joke.

    • Natalie,
      I’m sorry for what you’re going through. My situation is very similar.
      How are you now?
      If you need to talk I’d be more than happy to listen.
      Thanks,
      Stephanie

  2. This breaks my heart to read the sentence that you are the one who failed. I am six months in from d day and it has taken a lot for me to stop blaming myself. The unknown is so frightening and it feels like everything you understood about your life is so mixed up. Self care seems to be when I find my most comforting moments.

  3. I’m in a similar situation, only my husband still denies his “friendship” with his coworker is an emotional affair and seems to have no plans to stop being friends with her. he this month has finally admitted to having “feelings” for her and knows he shouldn’t and that she doesn’t feel the same about him that she likes the attention he gives her. ive told him he needs to end it with her and he just threaten’s if I make him quit his job, what would we do without insurance because he won’t take another teaching job.
    this all started almost 2 yrs ago. He was my best friend so laid back and kind. we had great sex and affection. He was an amazing, great father to our two sons. he has always been a conflict avoider and hates making decisions so I have always been the driving force in the relationship. 2 yrs ago he strated being really moody and distant. he was overweight and decided to start an extreme work out schedule that completely took all his time up and basically shut me and the kids out. He lost a bunch of wieght and got all new cloths. whenever the kids or i complained he didn’t have time for us, he pulled away even more and was angry all the time. by March of that year the kids hated him and he and I were fighting non stop. I started becoming suspicious, then one night he got texts in the night from the coworker and when I asked to see them he erased the whole conversation. that was a year ago. he swore it was just friends and that he wouldn’t communicate with her outside of work anymore. but he became very secretive and protective of his phone from then on. Which we fought about on and off, but less all that summer. As soon as summer was over and he went back to work he was more angry at me then I ever thought possible for him. we decided to do couples counciling (which has helped him reconect with the kids) but by the second session he completely stopped all affection and love towards me. said he loved me but wasn’t in love. we did council together till Feb this yr. when he decided we should have an in house seperation, he sleeps on the couch. then I started going to my own too. over th last month his anger at me just skyrocketed until he finally admitted his feeling for the ow. I left for several days and had a complete heartbroken breakdown which he witnessed. since then his anger seems to have mostly gone but was still distant and closed. I think he’s starting to realize that my tears and anguish are not some manipulative ploy to trap him but real heartbrake for the distruction of our family and life together. he called crying while I was away saying he missed me and had been remembering how good it used to be. He said he wanted to take a break from couples therapy and made an appointment to go to his own therapist to figure himself out which is good. He’s got a lot of issues from his parents terrible divorce as a child. He still acting secretive and wants to go hang out at the bar by himself but said he was with his brother, so lying. I asked him last night why stay when he doesn’t seem like me anymore anyway. he said after 26 yrs together he at least owes it to me to try and said even though I don’t think he does, he does still love me and that I deserve better. I wish that made me feel better but it doesnt. I feel like a second choice or a burden/obligation. I’m trying to make a life for myself in the mean time which is really lonely, looking for a new job, lost 55 pounds (so much stress) look better than ever, maybe going back to school at 43. I have really examined my own behavior that made him feel controlled during the years and have taken responsabiliy for it and am trying to let go. attending support group meetings for dealing with emotions and needing to be in control. He says he sees how his avoiding making decisions in our lives led him to feel like I’m in charge of him and how he started feeling like a victim and wants to rebel. It’s a position I never wanted anyway. I just don’t know how we would ever be able to get passed this and build any sort of relationship again. I love him and hate him all at the sametime. I’m so hurt and exhausted. I wish I could just get angry or something to make it hurt less. how can this ever work when he blames me for everything and won’t acknowledge the wrongness of or change his relationship with the other woman?

  4. I am in a similar boat. 24 years married found out three years ago my husband cheated. He went to counseling and we really worked on everything and I thought our marriage was a lot better, better than ever. But recently I found out he had began talking to someone else with the plans of meeting them eventually. He has never admitted guilt only when confronted with Evidence. He’s swearing his love for me and wants to get right. He says he’s willing to do anything. He said all this before. I am so confused. When I read about guys like this and my mind they are horrible people. In my reality, my husband is wonderful to me . It truly is me and him. He doesn’t go out with friends or treat me negatively. He would do anything I asked. he is a great father. We have had a great life together and really neither time did I suspect because we were happy. So where do you go from here? Obviously he is a serial cheater and I think it’s because he needs attention. I’m just at a loss of what to do though . Leave? Stay? What do you tell them to do? I don’t even know I’m just hurt . Believe it or not I’m not even as angry as I should be. I’m just empty. My therapist tells me have respect for myself and unless I’m willing to accept him cheating then I might as well leave. It’s easy for her to say because she’s never been in a long-term marriage. I’m just so lost. Is that what I do? Everyone says follow your heart but the heart has betrayed me and I can’t trust it

  5. I am 8 years from the 1st DDay- but endured another year of revelations until a year later, coming up for air, I was completely undone learning that my husband of 35 years had slept with 15 other women including 3 long term affairs, one almost 10 years. Thru much counseling and discussion, we have remained together but every few months I am blindsighted by a trigger. This is always followed by anger, defensiveness, and stonewalling by my H until I apologize for not getting over it. How can we communicate better when I get one of these? Should I just work thru it myself and not bother him? That never seems to work. Thanks!

  6. Hello,
    I am reading this and seeing that you and I have almost identical situations… With the exception of my husband’s other woman is not married. My husband says identical things regarding his”apologies”. The difference for me is, I know him all to well and his “I’m sorry”, just don’t add up.

    For me, I knew something was terribly won’t in the fall of 2017. He stared going out after work to”meet with the guys for pizza, wings, etc,”
    The only problem is, he didn’t really do it that often and so, I thought week this is good. Here’s getting out, hanging out with some friends and taking a breather. We all need that and I was happy to accommodate. But, then it started with going to aPenn State game on weekend.
    He just so happened to have made plans with several co-workers but coincidentally, all balloted except this one girl. I told him he was not to go but, he felt bad for her he said and didn’t want to bail on her??!!
    I knew…I knew then…. He came home all but sobbing telling me he should’ve been truthful about the game. I was cold and dismissive. But, come to find her want really sorry, he continued to talk, meet, see her. She knew he was married with 2 children that were failed young…7&13 to be exact. She has 3 kids off her own but she’s a bar room girl. Likes to leave her kids along to have her rendezvous. 15 years younger than he.
    I, in the same, didn’t want to soul my children’s holidays so I waited until the first of January. I confronted him but, he initially lied… Even called me a “happy asshole” for asking. So, I started to dig, I found text messages via getting in touch with our phone carrier to figure out how to retrieve them back. I going a stone of them, unfortunately, only his side but, proof none the less.
    So, it’s been since January. I confronted him and he called her,.. Only with by asking me what I wanted him to do. And he put the on speaker phone and called it off. But a few weeks later, he came to me sobbing, embraced me..I thought this was the remorse I was due… Only to find his words to me were”if I can’t be with her, I want to die…”….. HOLDING ME, PLEADING TO ME???!!!!! CRYING, SOBBING…..I WAS FURTHER DEVASTATED .. To say the least.
    We tried counseling, the counseling was not a good fit. I am in stead of another one but, wonder to myself if it’s worth it. He States to me frequently that”let’s go so you can get help……. There’s nothing wrong with me….”
    ????
    I can truly understand your devastation. I can understand your desperation to make a decision, to understand, to get help to see your situation more clearly as this is a blanket of fog were wading thru.
    But, do not hold it back from everyone!
    Do not hold it on!
    Do get counseling asap and call your local part, church, etc. Anyone you can. I found a group of ladies that I work with that have had the unfortunate situation as I that have been a great shoulder to lean on. I see you work from home so look up a group of you can to go to, like a support group of people in your shoes. It’s out there. But, anyway you look at it,… It’s going to be work. And a lot of it. Work to keep it or to go. I discovered an online course through a man named Mort Fertel. I received his daily emails and there have helped as well. I have been in the internet almost daily searching for answers of all kinds. My husband has very little remorse. Mostly guilt ass this article States. So, as I search for something to tell me this is going to be ok,… I’m feeling reluctant. So, I will pray for you. This woman woohoo wire this help article is so correct!!
    I feel as though I would do anything since this has happened to me too help prevent just one more person from this pain and devastation. People… Men and women alike… Have no idea what this does to a person!!!
    If they want to go… Then go!
    Have a little integrity for what it’s worth and be an adult about it!!
    Say what you need to say to fix it or get out but DON’T CHEAT EVER!!!
    THIS IS A COWARDS WAY….GUTLESS, HEARTBREAKING,SLEFISH, NARCISSIST BEHAVIOR AND CHOICE!
    WHAT YOU DO AND SAY YOU BECOME!!
    THEY ARE THIS NOW NO MATTER WHAT THEY DO DIFFERENTLY FROM HERE ON OUT!

  7. Sorry for the typos..I do apologize.
    I should have proof read prior to posting.
    If I could figure out a way to edited it I will???!
    Good luck and never give up or give in to someone who hurts you so badly!
    Be direct but, in control to gain the truth. Don’t turn into the cowards they have become to escape their reality. We have already proven we are much stronger and far better than their choices.
    Just do what feels right… And in time you will know what that is. Don’t make any decisions for a few months. It’s too fresh and raw to make a rational thought or decision. Do your research though no matter what. Get lots of education in this topic.
    Good Bless You All!

  8. Wow, pretty much same story, i am 4 years in and have cried every single day.I dont know what to do either.

  9. July 11, 2018
    I don’t know where you are at this many months later, but I hope you are ok. My story is similar, except 36 years of marriage, 3 kids, 2 grandchildren. And I helped run the family business. I invested myself so much into my family and supporting him in the business. I feel very punished. But what I learned are two things: wounded people hurt innocent people. My husband’s childhood wounds came to the surface and I paid the price. I also learned this: I am a child of God. I am loved, and I am enough. There are things I could have done better, but I do not put the blame on me. Infidelity is a choice–the wrong choice. I put the wrong “one” on a pedestal. He is now off and the right One (God) is on that pedestal and the center of my life. So my husband no longer has that power to determine if I’m good enough. You have not failed–he has. He has failed himself. So put your head up high, do things that make you feel good about yourself (for you).
    My husband was immediately remorseful and went to therapy and is working through his issues. So I am lucky in that way. And I chose to work to forgive him and God has forgiven my mistakes. But I also will always have “plan B” out there. I take much better care of myself now and also lost over 20 pounds. I have confidence. If he should ever repeat this, I am gone. No more chances. But I have hope that it won’t. Take the best of care of yourself. And remember that this is NOT about you. Men who cheat can be narcissistic and it’s about them. I believe my husband would have cheated on anyone he married because he needed a ridiculous amount of attention and approval (childhood wounds). That left me with no chance to be imperfect/human.

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